The message my body has been sending me (that I've been ignoring)

I'm not very good at being sick (who is?). I rail at the unfairness of not being able to follow through with my plans, trying desperately to convince my body it's fine, silently seething at the sick people who probably infected me (damn you, coughing man on the bus!). Since I'm self-employed I lose money for every day I don't work, so I can't help but panic about the hit to my income... which only magnifies the unrest within my body instead of promoting rest (so helpful). It's a shitty situation, and yet, a very necessary one.

Recently I was struck down by a sinus infection that morphed into a chest infection. I was confined to bed for almost three days, too weak and feverish to move. And I was miserable. 

When situations like this happen - which is very rare for me as my immune system is really robust - it's difficult to remind myself that being sick is NORMAL. There is nothing wrong with me. My body has not shut down because it's broken, it has shut down because it wants to be stronger... and for that to happen, it needs to rest and rejuvenate. That quote 'almost everything works best if you turn it off and turn it on again' is pretty on point when it comes to colds and flus. 

But because we live in a 'go go go' culture, resting is frowned upon. We try to 'soldier on' instead of giving our bodies what they actually need - rest, and acceptance of our present circumstances. Our to-do list seems so much more important than our health (even though, without our health, we can't do anything). Then we wonder why we feel wiped out and then get sick again later.

Why is it so hard for us to listen to our bodies?

We also have a tendency to talk ourselves into being sick... not ideal. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone in the office declare: 'I think I'm getting sick' or 'there's something going around - everyone's getting sick' I'd be a very rich woman. When we talk or think about illness as an inevitability - even in jest - the body responds by winding down our defences. The body, after all, is programmed to respond to messages from the brain. I am not saying our thoughts *make* us sick, obviously, but we do have the power to significantly increase the likelihood that we'll fall prey to bacteria and viruses with the messages we send our bodies. I regularly say to myself 'I have great health' and 'my immune system is strong'. This doesn't mean I never get sick (clearly) but it does mean my defences are higher. Which means that when I do come down with something, my body is really in need of rest.

The truth is, my body had been telling me for weeks that it needed a break. (I have a holiday booked in very soon... but, unfortunately, not soon enough.) When I refused to listen to its pleas for relaxation, it forced me to listen. Will I never learn?

I have a lot of work to do in this area. I say yes to things that I know I don't have time for. I limit my sleep so I can fit more work in. I know I'm not the only one who does this. We are all writing cheques that our bodies can't cash. I'm reminded of the Dalai Lama's response when he was asked what surprises him most about humanity: 'Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.'

It's very clear to me that I need to break that cycle. 

Stop the hustle. Sometimes the best thing you can do to succeed is nothing

If you send a text message to the top five people in your contacts list asking them how they are doing, I guarantee at least four will reply using the word ‘busy’. It’s highly unlikely that anyone will reply complaining of boredom. I’m a member of The Busy Club myself. But I’ve decided I want to rescind my membership.

My body has not been happy with me recently. Mostly we have a good relationship but occasionally we veer into irritable sibling territory. The source of contention: divergent interests. My mind wants me to leap ahead with #allthegoals now now now but my body is demanding rest. It does so through what I’ve come to recognise as its fuse-breakers: skin breakouts, a cold sore (gross) and waning energy levels. These are red flags for me to stop and rest; if I ignore them, my life comes to a grinding halt and may refuse to restart for quite some time. You would think, then, that it would be a good idea for me to give my body what it needs.

Except.

I’m just not very good at doing nothing. I will sometimes allow myself an afternoon nap at weekends, but I’ve got so much on my plate right now, that doing something “unproductive” such as colouring- in or watching a DVD feels like time wasted (nope, I’m not a Capricorn – I’m actually a Scorpio). Relaxation, I tell my body, is something best done when I’ve done all the other stuff I need to get done. Which is about as likely to happen as Taylor Swift’s next album containing zero references to Calvin Harris. When you’re juggling multiple freelance projects, a blog, social media channels, not to mention a gym program, friendships and a relationship, there is never nothing to be done. Few people, I suspect, would regard that as a problem... and THAT is the problem.

We’ve started to glorify busyness as if it were the default setting instead of just a semi-regular, short-term event. If you’re not crazy-busy and stressed out, there’s something wrong with you. Wait, what?

We’re all about the ‘hustle’ and the ‘slay’. It feels like every second social media post is affirming that the only way to succeed is to kickarse tirelessly, striving ahead with everythingeverything alldayeveryday. I saw a post this morning that declared “now is the new later”. Instead of motivating me, it only made me feel really, really tired.

That’s the thing. All this running around doing everything at once and being everything at once – while looking at our phones – is exhausting. Plus, it’s counter-productive. We can’t excel at anything if we’re trying to do everything. Even the ocean is still sometimes.

We seem to have forgotten that we’re human BEINGS not human DOINGS. It’s not hustling that helps us learn and grow – that is what happens in self-reflection. 

I’d like to propose a radical alternative to all this busyness: hopping out of the driver’s seat regularly, and checking into a rest stop.

Taking time out to relax has the practical benefit of not only allowing the body to recharge, in preparation for your next adventures, but also allows you to take your emotional temperature. Just like a pilot checking in with air traffic control to make sure they’re still on track for their destination, self-reflection helps you think about where you’re heading, as well as the challenges you’re wrestling with and your overall life-satisfaction levels. 

It also creates space for the Universe to step in and help you. Arianna Huffington wrote: “Life is a dance between making it happen, and letting it happen.” Dreams and goals are not meant to be a constant struggle. Mostly, they’re a partnership with the Universe – 50 per cent listening and 50 per cent action. If you’re hustling hustling hustling but making no progress, maybe you’re holding on too tightly to how you think things should be; the Universe may have a better idea for you, if you stop and give it room to make that happen.

I stumbled upon a great quote recently (because let’s not forget that social media can be really helpful!) that has reinforced my suspicion that I need to make a point of stopping regularly instead of constantly surging forward. It’s about bringing back a greater sense of balance, for the sake of my body and my soul. The quote was: “Grace will take you places hustlin’ can’t.”

I love this. Grace is what happens when you stop to find stillness amid the haste – and instead of feeling guilty, you feel fulfilled. Grace is when you listen to your body and give it what it needs – not kombucha or trendy foods, but simple, good-quality nutrition, exercise and sleep. Grace is being present in this moment instead of focusing on what’s coming up. Grace is about stepping out of struggle and surrendering to the Universe, instead of trying to control everything. Grace is checking out of The Busy Club.

Grace is what I’m doing right now. Curled up on the couch on a Sunday afternoon in my pyjamas with a blanket, watching Pride and Prejudice. Aaaaaand writing this post while simultaneously replying to Instagram comments, admittedly. Hey, I’m a slow learner.

RELATED POSTS: Help - I've forgotten how to relax!
Are you on someone's meltdown watch list?
Are we having fun yet? If not, why not?
 

Help – I’ve forgotten how to relax!

There’s an old saying that doing nothing is never so satisfying as when there’s something else you’re supposed to be doing. These summer holidays I’ve found that to be true.

The idea of relaxing in the sun, chowing down on berries, doing crosswords and napping every afternoon seemed so appealing to me last December, as I scrambled to get my work projects completed on deadline and board that plane. My body told me in no uncertain terms that it really really really needed rest. How delicious! Except...

After Christmas, with the presents unwrapped and the family obligations wrapped, I found myself unable to switch off. I couldn’t prize my phone from my hands. I spent hours every day on my personal Instagram account, which I usually check only once a week (side note: did you know that Instagram emails you ‘what you missed’ messages if you go more than a week without checking it – needy much?!). I turned on TV, knowing there was nothing on. I kept checking my work emails.

My new books remained barely touched. I took so long cracking into crosswords that my sister jumped in and finished them for me. I took no naps.

I am so used to being connected and juggling multiple tasks that I do not know how to do nothing. When you’re self-employed, work never fits within a neat nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday framework – messages that need responses can come in at any hour. But really, that’s just an excuse I make to justify my reliance on my phone. The reality is, there is no need for me to know what everyone else is doing and saying at any given moment. I am on holiday and the best use of my time right now is doing nothing, to recharge my batteries and allow my body to rest. That involves disconnecting from the outside world and being fully present where I am right now. This is something I’ve had to retrain myself to do.

I have started put my phone on the bench, instead of next to me, and only checking it when I get an SMS. I have got stuck into my novel. I even went for a walk outside. I have got my daily meditation practice, which had fallen by the wayside sometime around November, back on track. It has felt weird to do nothing, but it also felt… right.

I’ve got a lot of arse to kick in 2016. But for now, I need to rest.

It’s just a case of reminding myself how to do that… 

Staying connected to the Universe, but still being grounded: all about the crown chakra

This is the final post in my series about each of the seven chakras, or energy centres, of the body. I’ve posted links to the previous six chakras at the bottom of this article if you want a refresher, but first let’s delve into the crown chakra, which is all about your connection with the Universe.

The crown chakra is located at the top of your head (well, obviously!) and is associated with your thought patterns, how well you sleep (or not) and how connected you are with your spirituality.

The best way I can explain the crown chakra is that when it is in balance, life just flows. You have an innate wisdom about how events are unfolding and about the direction in which you should move. The third-eye chakra is about having clear intuition, but the crown chakra is more intensive – it’s concerned with whether you trust the Universe enough to follow those messages (or whether your brain gets in the way). But even though this is about the ethereal stuff, a balanced crown chakra also means you are grounded (i.e. anchored to the real world) – because if you’re not grounded, you can’t integrate messages from your intuition.

(Image: The crown chakra symbol)

One type of people likely to have a crown chakra block are, ironically, those working in the spiritual community - think about the spiritual gurus online who spout a whole lot of convoluted wisdom which has no real-world basis.

Remember how I talked about how each chakra has an adversary? The heart chakra, which is all about love, has ‘grief’ as its adversary. And the sacral chakra, which is about pleasure, has ‘guilt’ as its primary challenger. In the crown chakra that adversary is ‘attachment’. That’s attachment to anything from possessions to an unhealthy relationship to a need to be right all the time. Because when we are attached to any object, or any set outcome, we’re not open to what the Universe is guiding us towards (that which is for our highest good).

My crown chakra is what I use to channel energy from the Universe through when I’m giving someone a reiki treatment. It’s also my pathway for receiving messages from the angels. But you don’t have to be working in the healing field to benefit from having a balanced crown chakra. 

Melatonin, the hormone that regulates healthy sleep patterns, is associated with the crown chakra. When there’s a block in the crown chakra, that interferes with melatonin production, which in turn adversely affects our sleep quantity and quality. It’s no coincidence that this year, the year that I started reiki and giving angel card readings professionally, my incidences of insomnia (which I have suffered from all my life) have decreased significantly. 

When the energy in our crown chakra is deficient we might display these characteristics:

* Very rigid belief systems (closed-mindedness regarding religion and spirituality)

* Dependence on material items to make us feel good

* A tendency to daydream and be away with the fairies

(Image: The seven chakras in the body.)

When the energy in the crown chakra is excessive, we might be:

* Prone to overanalysing

* Likely to over-intellectualise situations

* Constantly struggling to switch off our brains

* Prone to insomnia

To balance out the energy in this chakra, meditation is the best course of action. In yoga, the headstand is effective (for obvious reasons). Also, taking a break from electronics can be hugely beneficial because it forces you to come back to the real world. Being around nature is also a great way to ground yourself.

***

If you want to know more about the other chakras, here are the links:

The base chakra – associated with our material needs (i.e. money) and security

The sacral chakra – our emotional health, our creativity and sexual energy

The solar plexus chakra – associated with empowerment and control

The heart chakra – the place from which we give and receive love (to others, and to ourselves)

The throat chakra – associated with communication and self-expression

The third-eye chakra – all about our intuition and perception of the world

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.