Speak your truth - the way you use your words is so important. This is how the throat chakra works

When you were a kid, did your mum often utter these fateful words? “This is the last time I’ll warn you about this!”  And did she follow through on that threat? 

When our words and actions don’t match up, that can signify an imbalance in the throat chakra, which is the energy centre concerned with communication. 

Spiritually, our words are very important because they connect us to the Universe, so making sure we don’t misuse them can really help us create the life we dream of. Essentially, what we say is a direct reflection of who we are and what we want. And if we can’t express ourselves well, that will adversely affect our relationships too.

While the base chakra’s adversary is fear and the heart chakra faces up to grief, the throat chakra’s challenge is lies. That’s because this energy centre is about how our words align (or not) with what we really mean.

Obviously speech is important when it comes to the throat chakra, but so is listening – which is a major component in healthy relationships, because when you think about it, all any human being really wants is to be heard. If you deny someone that right, ideally you would have a good reason (perhaps their words are detrimental to you, for example). 

When this chakra is in balance, you’re able to ask for what you want without apologising for it. You don’t need to yell or use a lot of words when you communicate with people. You listen – really listen! – to people instead of mentally preparing your response while they are still speaking.

The most common way an imbalance in this chakra shows up is when your words don’t match up with your behaviour – you don’t pay people when you say you will, you don’t ring them when you said you would... that type of thing. 

People who are deficient in the throat chakra might demonstrate these attributes:

* They can’t say no to anyone, even when they really want to

* They never say what they really think

* They have a quiet voice or an uncertain tone

* They give mixed messages (which is why nothing in their lives works out the way they want it to).

People who have excessive energy in the throat chakra might exhibit these qualities:

*They interrupt and talk over people

* They talk too much, for too long, and repeat themselves constantly

* They gossip regularly

(Image: the throat chakra symbol)

* They use bullying and overly critical words

* They are uncomfortable with silence.

To bring the throat chakra into balance, practise actively listening. If the energy in your throat chakra is deficient, finding ways to express your truth, such as journalling, can be beneficial. It if is excessive, undertaking periods of silence is said to help your throat chakra greatly.

Also, this sounds weird, but singing is actually really good for clearing the throat chakra, because it helps you find your voice. For yoga devotees, shoulder stands and plough pose target the throat chakra. 

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.  

Stand up for what you think is right - but speak with love

I’ve spent most of my life running from confrontation, so I can understand how yesterday’s angel card – which urged us to stand up for what we believe – might have been a little difficult for some of you to digest. The reason many of us struggle with assertiveness is because we don’t want to cause friction or upset other people. We’d rather suffer than put ourselves in a situation where we might spark a conflict. This is doing ourselves an enormous disservice, and robbing the other person of a cue to reflect on their actions. And that’s a shame because we are all here to help each other lead better lives – but, ideally, without judgement and without infringing on others’ right to choose their own direction.

It’s important to know that you’re not being mean to someone if you say something that is contrary to their opinion or behaviour. If they are doing something you consider unfair, immoral or which causes pain and difficulty to another person (including yourself), you’ll feel a pull to speak up from within. What’s important is that your intentions are good – ie you speak from the heart – and that you frame it in a way that isn’t a personal attack. If someone cuts in front of you in a queue, for example, you’re not being a troublemaker if you point out that they’ve cut in, and that you were there first. Regardless of the outcome, at least you said something – sometimes people will take the piss because they’re willing to wager that no one will call them out on it. Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. If you call someone a nasty name and shout at them for their rudeness, that’s probably not going to go well. 

Speak your truth - with love

I’m not saying there aren’t sometimes consequences to speaking out – and of course you should take that into consideration – but if your intuition is telling you to speak up, you’re urged to honour that. 

The history books are bursting with examples of people who’ve spoken up despite the risk of adverse effects – whistleblowers, civil rights campaigners, agents for change. But it’s not only big social issues that call us to speak our truth, it’s everyday interactions.

About eight years ago, my best friend at the time, who was living overseas, made the very difficult decision to break up with her boyfriend and move back home. Because it was going to be so challenging living with him while she went through the process of packing up, leaving work and severing ties with the city, she decided not to tell him she was leaving until just before her departure date, about three months down the track. I can certainly understand her desire to delay that inevitable crushing moment, but I felt that in not telling him their relationship was already over she was deceiving him. I felt – and this is only my opinion, of course – that she was being unfair. In buying “peace” for herself she was maximising the pain for him later on, when he realised he’d been kept in the dark and misled as to their future together. I told her all of that... and I think you can guess how well it went.

She went ballistic at me and told me that as her friend, my job was to support her. I believed then – and I still believe – my role as her friend is to challenge her on significant choices that reflect poorly on her. Of course I was far too upset to explain that at the time. Instead of reflecting again on whether her decision was right – which she probably, deep down, knew would bring her face to face with something she did not want to face – she chose to focus on being outraged at me. A personal attack ensued, and we did not speak for about three months, which made us both miserable and put a lot of strain on our mutual friends. I should point out that this is only my side of the story, and I’m sure she has her own perspective on the incident. I should also point out that the way I expressed my thoughts was embarrassingly sanctimonious and laden with judgement, so I can hardly blame her for firing up. (Cringe.)

Do I regret my decision to speak up? No, although I’m not proud of the way I expressed myself. For me, it was important. One of my core values is treating other people fairly. It’s not up to me to tell other people how to behave but in a situation where I feel a deep unjustice is being done, I would like to think I will always use my words (carefully) to bring another perspective to light so others will pause and question their actions. What they do after that is up to them – and if they’re a friend of mine, my job then is to accept that and look for ways to support them.

If you feel deeply uncomfortable about someone’s actions and they ask you for your opinion – or worse, ask you to be party to it – what will you do? Doing the right thing is an incredibly complicated – and often, risky – act but it’s one that your angels ask you to honour as much as you can.

It’s certainly something to think about.

Salute to people who speak from their hearts

I've been thinking a lot about speaking our truth, and the potential ramifications of that. This is something that we've seen come up in the news lately, with Bruce Jenner's tell-all interview, and here in Australia, a sports reporter hit headlines for pointing out some uncomfortable – but valid – truths about war in a series of tweets. 

In the case of Bruce, his honest account of transitioning has earned him praise for his bravado. In the case of the sports reporter, he was slammed for being disrespectful to our armed forces and lost his job. 

In a completely different category, I recently read an incredibly candid first-person account of a young American girl living with herpes. Instead of hiding away, she has written a blog about the challenges of carrying a transmittable disease with such social stigma. Through her candour, she is helping to slowly rid the taboo around this condition, one reader at a time.

These situations are very different, but there's a common thread – a willingness to speak the truth, even though it’s uncomfortable and risky. It would have been easy for these individuals to stay silent out of a fear of rocking the boat, but for their own reasons, they spoke up and said what they believed needed to be said. In a society that worships conformity, this is an act of radical courage. 

In order to do this, they had to let go of expectation or fear about how other people would respond. They had to embrace the uncertainty of what consequences their truth telling would have. They had to decide that the cost of not speaking their truth was greater than any adverse effects of standing up for who they are and what they belief.

This is such a powerful thing to do. It isn't about forcing your opinions on other people, it's about being

authentic about who you are and what is right for you. It isn't, either, a licence to offend people or cause ill feeling. 

Being authentic is about not contributing to bitchy conversations your workmates are engaged in, that make you uncomfortable. Not sticking with a career that your parents expected you to do, but you’re bored with. Not going to the pub every Saturday night/Sunday morning with your mates when you’d rather be at home doing a jigsaw puzzle. You can speak your truth without being provocative or offensive. It takes practise and it takes self-belief but there are always people willing to show us that it's possible – and beneficial – to choose the path that honours your own light. If you don't, you're doing yourself an enormous disservice. Life is short, but it'll feel very long if you're committed to being someone, or everyone, else.