Ever had a bullying boss? Chances are, they had solar plexus chakra stuff going on

You know how people talk about having ‘fire in the belly’? That’s an indirect reference to the solar-plexus chakra, which is the energy centre concerned with personal power and control. This is an energy centre I’ve had constant blocks so I’m very familiar with it.

Symbolised by the element of fire, the solar plexus is the third chakra, sitting above the base and the sacral chakras. Located in the middle of your back and belly (just above the navel), it’s all about asserting your power without dominating other people, having will power and being comfortable with your place in the world.

People with blocks in the solar-plexus chakra might be doormats, or at the other end of the scale they could be bullies. They could be low in self-esteem or they could be workaholics.

If your energy in this chakra is balanced, you’ll be confident, flexible, self-disciplined, able to take responsibility for your actions and will have a good appreciation of your personal power (i.e. you don’t need to exert power over others to feel important). You’re just as happy to lead as to be led. You’ll also be warm and playful, because sense of humour is strongly connected to this energy centre (hence the saying ‘belly laughs’).

Even though chakras deal with esoteric energy, your physical energy is also at play in this chakra. If this chakra is balanced, you use your energy wisely – you don’t overextend yourself for long periods, and you don’t waste it on people who drain you.

While the base chakra was about fear and the sacral chakra was about guilt, the solar plexus’ enemy is shame.

(Image: the solar -plexus chakra symbol)

Essentially this chakra about owning your identity and being at peace with where you’re at in life – and it makes sense that that’s lacking in people who are bullies, workaholics or constantly angry.

People who are deficient in energy in the solar plexus chakra might display these characteristics:

· Low or no self-esteem

· Share no opinions, ever

· Avoid conflict at all costs

· Say yes to everything asked of them (hello, doormat!)

· Rely on other people’s validation to feel like they matter

· Passive approach to life (letting opportunities pass them by)

· Victim mentality

· Constant worry about what other people think of them

People with excessive energy in this chakra might have some of these things going on:

· Arrogance

· Constant need to have things their way (in the extreme: bullying)

· A need to be right and to have the last word

· Always having something to prove (typical of workaholics)

· Aggressive and prone to outbursts of anger

· Domineering and controlling

· Always criticising other people and very judgmental

· Perfectionism

· Always stressed out

Balancing this chakra comes back to instilling a healthy sense of self-esteem. If there’s something deep that’s proving an obstacle to healthy self-worth, seeking professional counsel could be helpful. Setting a goal and working towards it can help, as that requires you to back yourself and see yourself as worthy of success. If outbursts of anger are an issue for you, addressing the underlying issues could also be beneficial. Anger is a secondary emotion – it’s always masking a deeper problem, usually a fear of some sort. And of course, reiki is a brilliant way to clear blocks in any chakra.

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.  

Don't be a martyr – say NO to other people and say YES to yourself

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”

I saw this quote on Instagram the other day and I actually cheered. I’ve been wanting to write a post about the power of saying NO for some time, and this quote sums up my thoughts perfectly. 

You know how safety announcements on planes tell you to attach your own oxygen mask before helping others with their masks? That’s because you can’t help other people if you have not been looking after yourself. In simpler, less alarming terms: you can’t give energy if your own tank is empty. 

A lot of people who seek reiki treatment have emotional imbalances because they’ve created energy blocks in their bodies through having a lack of boundaries in their lives.

So many of us – especially women, because we’re often socially conditioned to be people-pleasers – struggle to say the word NO to things that we don’t want to do because we think people won’t like us. We don’t like letting people down – so we say yes to every social event or request... and in doing so, we let ourselves down, because we end up stressed and on the path to burnout. We fear what other people will think of us if we say NO so we say yes, then we end up resentful about having no time to ourselves, and feel like we’re being taken advantage of. We also feel stupidly, irrationally guilty about saying NO. 

Just to clear this up: no is not a bad word. It is a very powerful tool for protecting and enriching your energy levels and emotional health. If you consistently say yes when you want to say no, others will expect you to drop everything to help them whenever they need to move house, organise their parents’ anniversary party or remove an ingrown hair – because they’re responding to your past behaviour. You can’t expect people to honour boundaries that you have failed to set. 

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help out your mates and spend time with your relatives and in-laws – but not at the expense of your own health and wellbeing. If you feel like someone might be taking the piss and you’re feeling resentful about it, they probably are. Set very clear parameters, eg: “Yes I’ll come to your sister-in-law’s baby shower with you but I’ll only stay an hour” or “I won’t be able to give you a lift to yoga on Saturday morning because I really need a sleep-in but I’ll meet you for a quick coffee next weekend” or “I’ll look after your kids for two hours if you’ll pick mine up from school when I have a doctor’s appointment”.

You do not have to be a martyr in order to have close friendships or loving relationships. In fact, people will respect you more if you do set boundaries. If they don’t... maybe you need to ask yourself how much of a presence you want them to have in your life. 

The most important thing you need to know when it comes to boundaries is that saying yes to everyone does not make you popular or loved – it makes you a doormat. Set boundaries... before you set yourself on fire. 

PS I’ve just posted the quote at the top of this page on my Instagram – if it takes your fancy, visit my feed at @onegroundedangel and regram it.