Remember The
Sunscreen Song, which came out with the Romeo and Juliet movie
in the late 1990s? When it comes to snappy truth bombs, this song is an
absolute goldmine (it’s basically Pinterest in music). These lines are among
the most memorable, for me: “Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate
yourself either. Your choices are half chance – so are everybody else’s.”
Personally, I don’t believe in ‘chance’. But I love
this lyric because it reminds me not to put too much pressure on myself when it
comes to making choices – because I don’t have absolute power to determine the
outcome. Since that song came out and I’ve gained a greater understanding that
anything I create in my life is a partnership between myself and the Universe,
I now realise that I can’t possibly make a bad choice. #relief
One of the main factors that drives people to book
an angel card reading with me is they’re facing a tough decision. Their
circumstances can be vastly different – a job opportunity that requires them to
move cities, a relationship that is no longer satisfying, perhaps – but the
common thread is fear of failure. They know deep down what is right for them,
but they’re scared to commit to that course of action in case they’re ‘wrong’.
I read a UK magazine article recently which
suggested that people in the west are facing more decisions
than ever before in history, and as a result, our anxiety over
making any selection has increased. Previous generations – particularly women –
did not have as many options available to them as far as jobs, relationships
and lifestyle. We can now have anything and do anything we want – yay! That’s
undoubtedly a good thing, and I’m not for a minute advocating our choices
should be curbed, but if you’ve ever found yourself stressed out over a
four-page pizza menu, unable to make a selection, you’ll know that too many
choices can be overwhelming.
“From research we know that people with no choice
are significantly more resilient because they can blame life or other people
when they make a wrong decision,” psychologist Pieter Kruger says in the
article. “But if you make a wrong decision having had a range of choice, you
have no one to blame but yourself. We become much more obsessive because we
want to make the right decision every time.”
US psychologist Barry Schwarz, author of The
Paradox Of Choice, agrees. In an article with The Guardian he
described how there are so many varieties of jeans available now – stone-washed,
straight-leg, boot-fit, distressed, zip fly, button fly, slightly distressed,
very distressed, knee-holed, thigh-holed, knee and thigh-holed – that his
expectations of finding the perfect pair for him are high… and inevitably, he
winds up disappointed.
Adding to our decision-making anxiety is social
media, which has somehow become our yardstick of success. We’re being
constantly slammed with pictures of people appearing to nail their life choices
– cosy relationships, chic wardrobe picks, glamorous travel itineraries and
high-achieving kids. Even though we may be vaguely aware that what we’re
looking at is contrived and edited, rather than an accurate summary of other
people’s lives, we can still wind up feeling like everyone else is doing life
*right*. The allure of achieving something equally fabulous can be strong.
If you feel crippled by decision making, it might
be worth asking yourself if you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to
achieve a dream result. The resulting state of stress means you’ll struggle to
hear guidance from your intuition (which is your best asset when it comes to
making decisions).
From a spiritual perspective, it is not possible to
make a bad decision, because every course of action you
take will teach you something valuable you need to know for your soul’s
journey. Even if the situation doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped, you will
always be better for it. Plus, the Universe has a way of course-correcting you
if you go way off track.
When I finished my journalism degree, I struggled
to find employment. After three months I applied for, and got, a role on a
business newspaper – which, for someone with zero interest in financial
journalism, was not an appealing option. A year later, that publishing company
went into receivership, owing me more than $2200 in unpaid wages and holiday
pay*. This was not, obviously, an optimum result for me. But that does not mean
it was a bad decision. I got the valuable experience I needed, which, as a new
graduate in a flooded job-seeker market, I was struggling to get. I learned
professional skills that set me up for my career path. Plus, I made a friend I
instantly bonded with – and 15 years later, we remain close. I lost money, and
I ended up unemployed again for several months… but if given the chance to go
back, I would make the same decision again.
The truth is, the Universe will always make
sure you end up in the right place, and among the right people, for your
highest good. You may not have Oprah Winfrey’s wealth, Lena Dunham’s body
of work or Salma Hayek’s boobs, and probably you never will, but you do have a
pure heart, a resilient spirit, treasured memories, wonderful people in your
life and the knowledge that the best is yet to come.
This I know to be true: you are exactly
where you are supposed to be. I imagine that some people will find that
depressing – probably because they believe that they have total control over
their lives, or they had expectations of something more glamorous – but I
personally find it enormously comforting. It means I’m being looked after by
the Universe, and it also means that while I have the power to create anything
I want, my choices won’t have the monumentally dire consequences I might have
imagined.
The only bad decision we can possibly make is to let
fear paralyse us to the extent that we make no decision at all.
Instead of procrastination, let’s choose courage
and action.
*I got back about $345 of this around a year later, after
the liquidators had settled the company’s affairs. Sad face.