Has anyone else noticed how often the word ‘inspirational’ is used these days? On the TV show The Voice recently a contestant was described as an inspiration – which he absolutely was – so many times that it started to sound a little trite. It got me thinking – what actually makes someone inspiring? And if that description is based on someone’s physical disability, as it was in this case, is that label helpful? I have a very personal reason to be cautious about my use of the word ‘inspiration’.
But let me backtrack.
I know a lot of my
readers are overseas, so I’ll explain first up that The Voice is
number one in Australia’s ratings every night it airs, so please forgive me for
this reality TV reference – everybody is talking about this show. A
few weeks back, a wonderful man called Tim moved us all with his soaring,
angelic (and I do not use that descriptor lightly) rendition of Nessun Dorma. But although the coaches
did speak highly of his vocal prowess, what dominated their appraisals on that night and
on his two subsequent performances was the word ‘inspirational’. You see, Tim
is in a wheelchair, paralysed from the chest down. This means he cannot feel
his diaphragm – a muscle singers need to control in order to perfect their
sound. This truly makes him inspirational because he refused
to give up on his dream of singing, and displayed remarkable tenacity to find a
way to attain such vocal purity.
But here’s where I
had an issue (and yes, I know I’m focusing on the wrong thing) – it felt like he didn't get the same treatment as other contestants. I can certainly understand why the coaches focused on his remarkable story initially, but as he progressed in the competition they didn’t give him anything
constructive to work on, or spur him on to greater things as they did for other contestants (although I realise
this may be due to TV editing). I can’t speak for Tim but I did wonder whether
he might have preferred that his voice be judged on its own merit, as it was
for the able-bodied contestants. He did comment that he was proud to have the opportunity to
inspire people to pursue their dreams no matter what
obstacles they face, so it’s clear that he was happy to be seen as
inspirational. This is only my opinion, but
I think he deserved to be portrayed on the show as a talented singer,
not a singer in a wheelchair. I say this because many disabled people yearn
for people to see beyond their disability. Their deepest desire is to be accepted for what they are (talented,
valuable) rather than what they are not (able bodied).
My sister is
disabled. Her physical challenges are complicated and largely diagnosable but
to give you a very broad overview, she has skeletal deformities which have
given her a noticeable hunchback and impaired her lung function. With just 17
per cent lung capacity she is constantly short of breath, can’t walk far (she
has a wheelchair for long distances) and is chronically low on energy. If
you should ever meet her – you should; she’s rad! – I would strongly suggest
you never tell her inspires you. She will get very, very cross with
you.
And this is why.
Although she deals with challenges that most of us do not, she does not see
herself as lacking in any way. She does not wake up every morning and
decide to be heroic, she simply gets up and gets on with her day, the same
as you and I do. She is not a battler, not a role model, and not special. Like
all of us, she is simply playing the hand she’s been dealt. As she puts it: “I
am not an inspiration, I am just living my life.”
As a society we have
been known to put the disabled on a pedestal instead of treating them as
equals, and there’s something inherently patronising about that. A
random older lady once told my sister: “It’s lovely to see you people out
and about.” This makes my blood boil. Firstly, anyone who uses the phrase
‘you people’ to isolate a group of humans can fuck off back to Judgment Town.
Secondly, anyone who derives personal satisfaction from bearing witness to my sister's
grocery purchases is clearly living a very small life.
I love my sister with a fierceness that I had not known possible before her arrival, and I deeply admire her for her buoyant spirit, her emotional resilience, her
commitment to fighting for social justice and her beautiful heart, among countless other
things. But she is not an inspiration to me. Saddling her with the
label ‘inspirational’ would highlight the ways she is different from me instead
of giving her the space to simply be herself. No one should be defined
by their weight, skin colour or any other element concerning their physical
body. The body, after all, is just a home that your soul lives in.
We all want to be
loved and accepted for who we are. And we all absolutely deserve that.
Maybe, instead of
looking to other people for inspiration, we should be our own heroes. That’s
what an inspiration is, right? It’s someone who motivates you to be better than
you are today. Maybe you could go ahead and just be that person yourself.
Pretty radical, hey?